Cyber Self-Defense
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Different Worlds
In the physical world, our intuition and situational awareness are powerful tools that help us navigate potential dangers.
We can read someone’s body language, pick up on subtle cues, and trust our gut feelings to help us steer clear of harmful situations. However, in the digital realm, these tools are dramatically impaired. The anonymity and distance provided by online interactions make it challenging to discern the true intentions, or even identities, of others.
This disconnect between our innate protective instincts and the digital medium creates a breeding ground for sophisticated predators to exploit some of most vulnerable among us, especially teens. Compound this trend with emerging “deepfake” AI technology, and the problem is only going to get worse.
Self-defense in today’s digital age—especially for teenagers—must include an understanding of how threats can manifest online, beyond identify theft and financial fraud.
Growing Up Online
Those of us over the age of forty clearly remember time before smartphones, social media, and the internet.
To us, the real world and the digital world are two separate environments, and that mental separation allows for significantly more detachment, and a different way of interacting and living with the digital world. In contrast, today’s kids and young adults have grown up as digital natives. According to a 2021 report by the Pew Research Center, 95 percent of teenagers have access to a smartphone, and 45 percent are online almost constantly. Social media platforms, online gaming, and messaging apps are integral to their social interactions.
For better or worse, kids today lack—to a large degree—mental separation between the real world and the digital world. This attachment brings with it risks that most kids don’t know how to navigate, and most adults don’t even know exist.
Sextortion: The Biggest Online Threat for Teens
In a recent high-profile case, two Nigerian men were extradited to the United States for their involvement in a sophisticated sextortion scheme.
These individuals preyed on victims through online interactions, befriending them through social media channels—Snapchat in particular—and gradually convincing them to share explicit images or videos of themselves. Once they had enough compromising material, they launched extortion campaigns as predictable as they are tragic, demanding money under the threat of public exposure. One of their victims, a promising seventeen-year-old student, took his own life when he couldn’t meet their financial demands.
Regrettably, this heart-wrenching story isn’t rare. It represents an alarming trend of predatory targeting that is dramatically on the rise. In 2022 alone, the FBI reported over 7,000 cases of sextortion targeting minors, with more than half the victims being boys, and more than a dozen resulting in suicide.
In the close protection and intelligence communities, we call targeted attacks of this type “Honey Traps.” A Honey Trap is the process of selecting and seducing a target with an offer of sex, which will be surreptitiously filmed and then used for political leverage, blackmail, extortion, or espionage. It is a practice so common, it’s routinely depicted in movies and TV shows, and even though the targets are often highly successful and capable individuals, the attacks work—startlingly often. The lesson here is, if the same tactic can successfully be used a high percentage of the time again
You’re On Your Own
Add to this the reality that most digital crimes—be they fraud, identity theft, or online predatory targeting—go unprosecuted. Law enforcement in general is simply unequipped, or uninterested, in helping the victims in most of these cases. This is a function of several factors: 1) the sheer volume of attacks, 2) the multi-jurisdictional and often international dynamics involved, 3) genuine manpower limits, 4) entrenched priorities by law enforcement to focus on physical crimes, and 5) simple knowhow when it comes to matters of digital crime.
What does all this mean? It means that, just like self-defense, cyber self-defense is your responsibility.
Fortunately, there are real actions you can take to limit, or even eliminate, your exposure. As Sun Tzu in the Art of War states “The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.” Cyber self-defense primarily comes from understanding the attack patterns, recognizing when you may be being targeted, and denying the opportunity for victimization.
5 Steps to Achieve Greater Cyber Self-Defense
Simply understanding the risks associated with online interactions is the first step toward prevention, but here are five actionable things you can do right now to empower yourself and your loved ones to navigate the digital landscape safely and confidently.
Verify Before Trusting
Many people—especially young teens—go wrong here by assuming that online interactions are as trustworthy as face-to-face, especially on social media when the individuals appear to share friends in common. However, it’s essential to verify the identity of the person you’re communicating with before trusting them.Beware of Catfishing and Honey Traps
Be alert to the tactics used by online predators. These may include excessive flattery, boundary violations (such as rapid escalation of intimacy), requests for personal information or for some type of help, and attempts to isolate you from your support network. Trust your instincts and disengage from any interaction that feels uncomfortable or suspicious.Controlled Interactions
If you choose to meet in person with someone you’ve only interacted with online, ensure the meeting occurs in a public place, and preferably in a group setting. Inform a trusted friend or family member about your plans and share your location.Further, avoid sharing explicit content, even with people you believe can be trusted, as relationships can change, and digital content is too easily misused. Be especially wary of requests to meet in controlled or private settings against your wishes.
Confidence, Boundaries, and Trust
Persuasion-oriented Predators seek out, target, and exploit feelings of loneliness and low self-esteem. This is why teens often make such “soft” targets.Certainly, most parents genuinely want to build resilience, confidence, and independence in their kids, and doing so is the best defense against manipulation long-term, but it is a process that can be particularly challenging during teenage years, when self-esteem may be at its most vulnerable in young people. One of the most troubling studies I’ve ever seen shows that girls’ self-esteem and confidence levels plummet by 30 percent between the ages of 8 and 15. The pressures of school and social dynamics can be daunting, and parents are often learning how to coach their teens at the same time their kids are learning how to navigate this minefield.
One firewall you have for protecting kids from such dangerous people and circumstances is trust. They must trust you enough to never keep secrets from you. A common tactic employed by the persuasion predator is to tell their victims, “You can’t tell anyone about this…” The simple act of arming your teens about how this tactic is always a red flag—and in reality, means that they do need to tell you about it—can forestall many bad circumstances from occurring.
In the Marines, we had a saying that the moment your troops stop coming to you with their problems, it means they either assume you don’t care, or you’re too incompetent to help.
Even though building self-esteem and confidence may take years, you must build a sense of trust that your teens can come to you with any issue they are dealing with. It’s your job to protect them. And in order to protect them, you have to know what’s going on with them. And the only way to know what’s going on is if your kids trust you enough that they talk to you.
REMEMBER: The Internet is Forever
Sexting should be a non-starter. Just as in written communications and online posts, don’t write, say, or share anything you don’t want to be seen by the whole world, shared in a court of law, or used against you. Even though socializing online and risqué behavior can feel exciting, always remember that relationships change.
Conclusion
The digital age offers unparalleled opportunities for connection and information sharing.
However, it also presents new challenges that require a proactive approach to safety. By understanding the risks, fostering critical thinking, and implementing practical safety measures, we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from the hidden dangers of the digital world.
Stay vigilant, stay informed, and Live Ready.